How I Clean the House

I can’t clean without music blasting…

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Falling out of Love

This little story came about as I was driving with my kids and this song came on the radio… and I thought what if she were really falling out of love.   

They say that when you are dying that time slows down and your life flashes in front of your eyes…

I am not sure about that, because right now I am falling to what I think is my death, but so far I can only think about the last 24 hours.   I have to say it is quite disappointing too, because the last 24 hours were not the best hours of my life.

24 hours ago, I was in New York. My friend, Maura, made me the best Shrimp Linguine you could make in a tiny kitchen.  We stayed up late talking about our boyfriends, or rather my boyfriend, since Maura always seems to go on first dates but they never lead to any 2nd dates.

As I told her, things were going great with Brad, my current boyfriend, and we had just moved into a new high rise condo in Seattle.  He is an up and coming lawyer, who has dreams of being the next great politician.  I could see myself as a politician’s wife.  I am a teacher.  What politician would not want to use the “my wife is a teacher” card when campaigning, right?  Anyhow, life was good.  I even told Maura that I could see an engagement ring in my future.  I went to bed on her sofa, dreaming of the life I hoped I would have and Brad was a huge part of that life.  I saw 2.5 kids.  The .5 would be our dog, although I still was not able to imagine what the dog would look like.  I think I may have been thinking a Golden Retriever or maybe even a smaller dog like a maybe a terrier like Dorothy’s in The Wizard of Oz.  I guess I am getting a bit off topic though.

Anyway, this morning I got up and went to the airport.  I have to admit that even though it was great seeing my best friend for the weekend, I was ready to get back home to see Brad.  This was the first time I went away without him.  I have only been with him for a year, but when he is not around I just don’t feel like myself anymore.  It is sad, but true.

The plane trip was pretty non-eventful.  Which was a blessing, since I hate turbulence and I have always thought that I would die in a fiery plane crash someday.  I have no real reason to believe that is how I would die, except for a gut feeling.  Something tells me my gut was only partially correct.

I arrived back at the Sea-Tac airport around 3 pm.  Brad usually worked until 6 or 7 at night, so as I drove home I came up with some pretty wonderful ideas of how I was going to welcome him home.  I was thinking maybe making something fun for dinner.  I am not much of a cook, but I was thinking I could scour through the few cookbooks I have and find something   that may be kind of sexy rather than comforting.  Of course, I also knew there was a good possibility I would call and get Chinese delivered.

As the taxi, let me out in front of our building and I lugged my suitcase into the lobby… something did not feel right.  Margaret, the concierge, greeted me with a smile, but there was something else in her eyes.  Apprehension?  Worry?  Ah, my mind was playing tricks on me.   I asked her how her day had been going and whether the mail had gotten here yet.  She replied that it had and that Brad had picked up the package that had arrived.  I have to admit that I was a bit disappointed that Brad was already home, but then the thought occurred to me that maybe he was up there waiting for me.

The ride to the 6th floor seemed to take forever.  All I wanted was to jump on him and tell him how much I missed him.  Who cares if I did not have time to shower and make dinner, maybe he already planned a nice dinner to welcome me home! When I opened the door, the apartment was eerily quiet.  Brad was not in the living room watching TV.  I could hear some faint music coming from the bedroom and assumed that he must be taking a shower or getting dressed.

Unfortunately, when I opened the door I saw that Brad was indeed not dressed.  He was not dressed and also he was with our neighbor, Candace, who also was not dressed.  I think I may have let out a scream, because suddenly they both were looking at me.  Candace smirked, but seemed to take my arrival in stride.  Brad looked guilty as hell.  He looked like the fucking cheater he was.  I rushed at him trying to push him from the bed, only to tumble over him and land on the ground myself.

I am not sure what I was thinking, but I headed out onto the balcony.  Maybe the view of the Puget Sound would calm me a bit and they would both just get dressed and leave.  Unfortunately, they did not leave.  They did put on the minimum amount of clothes, for which I am grateful.  Clothed or not clothed, I would rather they would just leave me alone.  Brad was behind me trying to placate me by rubbing my back.

“I know what you must be thinking,” Brad assured me, “but I did not mean for this to happen.”  He tried to get me to turn around, but I willed for my body to face the water view.  I did not even want to look at him.  “She came on to me and I was lonely,” he continued.

From behind him, I could hear the door open again and I knew that Candace also was on the deck with us.  “Don’t be stupid, Darcy.  He is lying,” she called out.  “Brad, you know that it was only a matter of time before you were going to have to make a choice.”

“Stop, Candace!”  Brad then whispered to me, “Don’t listen to her.  Yeah, I might have flirted with her and maybe I gave her the wrong idea, but I never wanted to be with her.  I want to be with you. I have a ring and maybe I have been scared and have been making stupid choices because I know that soon you will be the last woman I am with.”

At that comment, I finally turned to face them.  “What!”  It came out as a cross between a scream and a cry.  “Are you insane?  Seriously, are you trying to tell me that you slept with her because you love me so much you want to marry me?  You slept with her… because you wanted to get in one last romp in the hay before getting stuck only having sex with me?” I laughed at his stupidity.

I honestly don’t know what happened next.  Somehow, I ended up falling. I can’t decide whether I am dead or only wishing I were dead.

“Her eyes are open!” Someone calls out through the murkiness of my mind.  An image begins to form.  I don’t recognize him.  “My god, she is awake!”  The paramedic bent over me and asked, “Can you see me?”

Unfortunately, I can see him.

OK, so do you think you know what pop music song inspired this little story?  Leave a comment with the song name and you may become a “Popspired Genius”.

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One Night

Image found on Imgur.com

Jenna

I hate that I am here.  I hate that Jared is here.  I hate that it has come to this.

There are about 10 of us hiding out inside the dive bar down the road from the apartment that I used to share with boyfriend.  Jared is talking to his best friend, Max, at the front of the bar.  It seems a bit heated, but it seems that most conversations with Jared are lately.  That is one reason I broke up with him.  He has gotten it into his head that he has to be a hero, except last time I heard heroes don’t hit their girlfriends.

So the world is falling apart… that is no excuse.

I have tried to give him another chance.  We have tried to work it out.  In fact, we came here together.  He wants to us to get back together, but I am still having a hard time seeing the point.

Jared

Max is pissing me off!  Why does he feel like now is the time to get high?  I wish he could see things the way I see them.  It does not help that Robbie is also here and encouraging him to join him.  Honestly, Max is not the one that is really pissed at. Actually, it is that guy sitting next to Jenna.  What the hell does she think she is doing?  All I want to do is protect her.  Seriously.  I know she is still pissed that I hit her, and she has every right to be mad about it.  I have never been so sorry about something that I have done in my life.

I am happy she is here, although I am sure it does not look like it.  I just need to figure out what my next move is.  She picked up and left the apartment.  It looks like she is flirting.  He looks like an idiot with those fucking sunglasses on.  Really!?!  Who needs to wear sunglasses at night in a bar?   Right now, I am just trying to get my temper under control.  If I have any chance winning Jenna back, I cannot start a fight with that guy! Continue reading

Who Watched “The Voice”?

I guess I should have asked who watch any of the “The Voice”  this week.  There were 3 episodes.

If you did not see all of them (like I did thanks to may daughter’s obsession with the show), then let me share a few of the highlights for me.  I also will use their song choices to help me share some imaginative ideas on what they were thinking…

  • Domo (Team Cee Lo):  She sang “Don’t Cha.” Her rendition caught the ear of Cee Lo, who happened to write the song.  Unfortunately, it did not catch the ears of any of the other coaches.  I think she hoped that they would be curious about if she really was hotter than their girlfriends.  Honestly, I thought Cee Lo’s reactions to her were more entertaining than her performance.  She pulled out a lot of dance moves (since she has been a hip-hop dancer) and got Cee Lo all hot and bothered.  After she performed, she also got the crowd involved in sharing her name, because just saying she shares a name with a fuzzy brown square shaped japanese cartoon character would have been too boring.  She was my 8-year-old daughter’s favorite, I still am rooting for MacKenzie Bourg (when it comes to “Team Cee Lo”).
  • Joe Kirkland (Team Adam):  Personally, he is my favorite so far.  He sang “Gives You Hell.” He shared that he used to be part of a band that had some limited success in its time, but broke up due to the lead singer leaving to pursue other avenues.  I love that he chose to be a part of Team Adam.  I think Adam would be a good mentor for him.  As for the song choice, could he be hinting that he hopes that his face will give that old lead singer some hell.  I know I am rooting that it will.
  • Aquile (Team Xtina):  How could you not fall in love with this guy?  He sang “Your Song” and I think he melted most of the hearts in the room.  I think that he picked a great song and I think it went well with the bit of his personality and his past experiences they shared with us.  It was humble and it was pleading… He was as if he was asking them to take his voice and song as a song for each coach.  It was enough to make Christina want to have him sing that song just to her… maybe in a private concert.  He seemed to like the idea and chose Christina as his coach.
  • Gracia Harrison (Team Blake):  This country girl sang “I Want to Be a Cowboy’s Sweetheart“.  You have got to love a singer who can yodel.  Even though Adam tried to sway her to his team, she could not resist Blake’s charms and country roots.  I think she was aiming for Blake’s team from the beginning.  She wanted to be a cowboy’s sweetheart.  Cee Lo and Adam are dynamic artist, but no one would confuse them with cowboys.

The one thing that has been bothering me during this season’s auditions is that Cee Lo does not seem to be fighting as hard as the others to gain people for his team.  I hope next week, Cee Lo will get some fight in him and score his some more singers for his team!   He came in 2nd last season… he should be flaunting that!

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Do you know the lyrics of “Who Let the Dogs Out”?

I actually have some pretty good (relatively) memories of this song.  In fact, this song reminded me that when our wedding DJ asked if there were any songs that we did not want played at our reception, I probably should have taken more time to consider the question.

Whistle While You Work

This is my son’s favorite song… Every time I hear it I think about how it would sound if the words of this song were an actual conversation.

Metal whistle

(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 Oh god!  Melanie could not believe what the schedule said, she was stuck working with Alex again.  Melanie did not mind her job at the coffee shop that much.  She liked most of the people she worked with, they usually played some nice music, and the coffee was free.  It was better than some of the other jobs she could find that fit around her school schedule.  The only thing she hated about her job was Alex.

Alex was one of those guys that thought all women wanted him.  He was not that bad looking, but he was beyond annoying to actually be around. She remembered when he started at the coffee shop.  He winked at her and her face flushed and that was all he needed to see.  From that point on, he had flirted with her incessantly and when he was not trying out bad pick-up lines on her he was whistling.

The whistling bugged her the most because he often did it when her favorite songs came on and it ruined the song for her.  It was going to be another 6 hours of pure hell.  She would need a extra large Caramel Cappuccino to get through it… or at least through the first hour of work.

Just as she finished tying on her apron she heard the bell ring.  Melanie sent up a silent prayer that maybe that was just a customer, or maybe it was someone coming to tell her that Alex was in a really bad wreck and could not come and work today.

“Yo Mel.  Guess who is here to put you in a freak mode!”  Continue reading