Whistle While You Work

This is my son’s favorite song… Every time I hear it I think about how it would sound if the words of this song were an actual conversation.

Metal whistle

(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 Oh god!  Melanie could not believe what the schedule said, she was stuck working with Alex again.  Melanie did not mind her job at the coffee shop that much.  She liked most of the people she worked with, they usually played some nice music, and the coffee was free.  It was better than some of the other jobs she could find that fit around her school schedule.  The only thing she hated about her job was Alex.

Alex was one of those guys that thought all women wanted him.  He was not that bad looking, but he was beyond annoying to actually be around. She remembered when he started at the coffee shop.  He winked at her and her face flushed and that was all he needed to see.  From that point on, he had flirted with her incessantly and when he was not trying out bad pick-up lines on her he was whistling.

The whistling bugged her the most because he often did it when her favorite songs came on and it ruined the song for her.  It was going to be another 6 hours of pure hell.  She would need a extra large Caramel Cappuccino to get through it… or at least through the first hour of work.

Just as she finished tying on her apron she heard the bell ring.  Melanie sent up a silent prayer that maybe that was just a customer, or maybe it was someone coming to tell her that Alex was in a really bad wreck and could not come and work today.

“Yo Mel.  Guess who is here to put you in a freak mode!” 

No such luck.  The best strategy she could come up with is looking busy and thankfully the baked goods need to be put in the display.

“Girl, you will not believe the night I had last night.”  Alex boomed.  He walked up behind her and pinched her side. “Ugh!” Melanie grimaced, “Seriously, you need to keep your hands to yourself.  Can you start the Columbian Dark?”

Alex smirked at her, “I am talking champane, rottweilers, and girls loving on some girls.  You could have totally been there on my arm, if you would have answered your phone.”

“Sounds like I missed out… too bad.  Although if I was on your arm, then that would mean that I would be spending time with you that I am not paid for… and if I am not paid, then I don’t see why I should put up with you.”  It was too early to come up with a witty comment.  Melanie finished up with the baked goods and went around the counter to check on all the straws and other supplies and let out a thankful sigh when she saw the first of the morning customers arrive.   Melanie waved hello to the first of the local moms that frequented the shop on monday mornings.

“Hello, Mel.  Girl, I am in need of the biggest cup of Kona Delight that you have!” chimed Missy.  Mel smiled, “You got it, Missy!”  She handed over the cup and rang her up.  Maybe she could stay busy enough to avoid any conversation with Alex.

“whooo ooo,”  Alex began to whistle as he started up a pot of Amazon Supreme.  Melanie cringed.  She tried to smile to each of the customers as they lined up for their morning coffees.  The whistling was driving her insane, but she did not want to look or sound unprofessional in front of the customers.  “Hey, Alex! Can you check in back and see if we have any more medium cups?”

“Sure, baby,” Alex smiled at her and then headed to the back.  They had plenty of cups, but his trip did buy her about 2 whistle-free minutes.

When Alex came back he saw the fully stocked cups and snuck up behind her and whispered, “I know why you hate it when I whistle.  You don’t know how, but I can teach you.”  Melanie tried to look undisturbed, but she could not help a little disgust from sneaking into her plastered smile as she handed over change to another mom from the mom’s group.

The mom, Candace, smiled and whispered, “I think Alex likes you.  He’s cute. Why are you so dead set against giving him a chance.”  Melanie wanted to die.  She decided that she would just tell it like it is.  “Candace, you have to understand.  I can whistle, I just would never give him the satisfaction of doing it for him.  Really, he is just not my type.  I like my guys cultured and well… they should be able to hold a conversation about more than hot girls, bugattis, and parties.”    Candace just smiled at her.  What is wrong with this woman, thought Melanie. Finally, Candace laughed and said… “Oh, to be young again!  Seriously, I doubt he is really like that.  He is just trying to impress you.”

Alex caught wind of the conversation and chimed in, “I always impress the ladies! I love it when they love my whistle and I know that if Mel were to try to whistle, she would have “perfect pitch”.  Then he winked, and Melanie wanted to punch him… in the face.  She wanted nothing to do with his whistle and if she got a hold of it then he might be a soprano when she was done.  Melanie thanked Candace for her advice, if that was what it was, and then turned to Alex.  “Look, I am sure that you would make some girl really happy.  My guess this girl would have to be half-dressed and maybe “high”, because I know I would have to be “really high” to tolerate any time with you that is not required.  If you want to make me happy then you will do your job and shut up about how hot I am and how good we can be together.  It ain’t going to happen.  I hate your whistling and I am beginning to hate you.”

Alex’s smile faded.  “Dang, you are harsh!  Seriously, you really need to loosen up.  I like you or at least I did like you.  I thought I could loosen you up and maybe then you would act your age.  FYI, you are 20, not 30.  Your 20’s are the perfect time to party and act stupid, ‘cuz next thing you know you will be one of them,” he pointed at the young moms with their babies, “and you will wish you let your hair down and worked it.”  Alex turned around and helped the next customer like nothing had transpired.

Melanie finally felt satisfied.  She did it!  She got through to him.  Yet, something he said made her feel a little bad, even a little disappointed.  As the day went on and he treated her professionally, she realized that the banter they had was kind of fun.  She suddenly started to whistle and she could not help smiling when Alex turned to look at her.  He started whistling with her and surprisingly… his whistling was not so annoying.

So have you figured out what song “popspired” me to write about a barista and her annoying whistling co-worker?

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